Catch Up

I feel like it's been forever since I posted...
My babies are all better and my mom is back up and staying with us! Yay!!!!!
Christmas is going to be wonderful!!!
My new business is officially launched and I've actually gotten some orders!!! I can't even express how exciting this is.
Not only does this represent financial freedom for me but more importantly, it represents the the great possibility of being able to be home with my children and still bring an income. Now some may view the "financial freedom" statement as short sighted and even naive BUT I choose to see it as positive. For years I have worked very hard and made other people and companies lots and lots of money. Why couldn't I make myself money? So I decided to get off my butt and do something about it.
My all time favorite quote is:
"Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right." Henry Ford
On a different note, Madison has officially entered the infamous "terrible two's".
Wow has she been in a bad mood the last couple of days and apparently, I'm the one who triggers her moodiness. Lucky me! It has something to do with her become more opinionated now and her jealousy of her brother. Anyway, she's been having lots of meltdowns. I have since purchased "The Happiest Toddler On The Block" and am furiously reading through it to figure out the secret toddler code that miraculously halts these crazy meltdowns. :/
Papo on the other hand is very calm... His only blow ups are about getting his food to him on time or early! That one does not miss a meal no matter what! He's been getting braver these days. He walks along the furniture and has even let go for a couple of seconds. He'll be 14 months soon. Madison started walking at 14 months so maybe he will too. I hope so because my arm is about to fall off!! He's a big boy!!! Another milestone is that he's actually saying "Mama" now instead of "Dada". And I love it!!!

New business launch

During the time I was home caring for my sick babies I had some time to think(not much but just enough).
I wrote on one of previous posts that I was going to sell cupcakes out of my trunk and as I reflected on that days later I thought, that's not a bad idea! I used to love baking and then life happened and I didn't do it anymore after I moved to the northeast.
Until now...
So I started baking a bunch of batches from scratch to perfect my cupcakes.

Perfecting the icing...

Perfecting the cupcake...

They MUST be fluffy!!! This was my top criteria and VERY important stuff!!

I got it!! 

The perfect fluffy cupcake! Not to mention, the perfect icing to go on top.

I even made a carrot cake cupcake with cream cheese icing... I'm not a big carrot cake lover but these were very good. ;)  (See Below)

I tested my product out on several different people, some of whom didn't even know I made them, and got really great feedback.
And so, JoliRose Cupcake Catering was born.
My website, Jolirosecupcakes.com, is up and running and my business cards are almost here. This is soo exciting.
I finally have a hope of staying home with my babies, still bring home income and realize a dream I've had for as long as I can remember... Own my own business!
And let's not forget.... Do something for a living that I actually like doing!!

Now the hard part begins.... get people to purchase my cupcakes.... It's ok.. I like a challenge! Besides,once they get a taste of my sweet treats, they'll be lining up. Hopefully. :/
Oh yeah... and just wait till I start getting really creative with this icing!!!!  Stay tuned!!! Much more to come!!!

Things Learned

After a two week hiatus from work to care for my sick babies, I am going back. :(
The babies are finally better after 3 long weeks of doctor visits, antibiotics and infections. Needless to say, they won't be visiting a daycare for a very long time.
Now here we have some issues we didn't have before:

1- My daughter has to be trained to sleep in her bed or at the very least sleep in her brothers bedroom with him. She got very used to sleeping with mommy while she was sick because I needed to be with her to monitor the fever spikes at night. This is proving to be extremely difficult and its actually amazing how quickly children get used to things.
I'll be hitting up babycenter.com for some tricks and tips on figuring this challenge out.

2- Our bedtime routine is completely out of whack. I still put them to bed around 8 but they don't go to sleep till after 9:30!! This is not good and so very tiring for me. Not to mention my poor Madison is literally asking for a bedtime story. With them being soo sick, I was just happy to keep them comfortable and didn't really worry about bath time, pajamas, etc... This is an easy one but nonetheless needs to be addressed.

3- Madison has very little appetite. This is a BIG issue. The ear infection and subsequent antibiotic intake has caused her to have little to no appetite. Madison is already a finicky eater so now this is going to a whole new level of stress for me. The doctors say it will come back and not to worry but she's so thin. It's not like she was chubby before and could stand a couple of pounds being lost. She was already lean and now she lost a couple of pounds. Ugh!!!!! I hate not being able to fix my children and make them all better!

Most Helpful Info

I believe some of the most important mommy necessities aren't actual "things"...
My biggest mommy necessity is INFORMATION!  I constantly need info on development, illnesses, where to go when I need things for the kids at reasonable prices, etc...
Let's face it,  the reason we've heard the following saying over and over is because its true!
"Kids do not come with instruction manuals!"

I have found the following links and book essential in keeping me sane when it was the middle of the night and you can't call anyone for advice on what to do for a screaming baby who isn't sick,  hot, cold, hungry, wet or anything....or when I just didn't have the time or energy to go out to buy anything.

Number 1 on my list goes to none other than....
BABYCENTER.COM
This site is AMAZING! There are sooo many parents from all over who give great advice for any issue you could think of.  This is life experience advice... and some expert doctor advice too...
This is where you want to go when you need lots of information.... they have almost everything covered.

2nd place belongs to
DIAPERS.COM
This is a "convenience" site.  I LOVE LOVE LOVE diapers.com.  Who wants to be lugging around huge diaper boxes and one or two babies all over a store???  Not me!
Diapers.com delivers diapers, formula and almost anything else you need for your baby right to your doorstep within 2 days. And best of all,  they have FREE 2 DAY SHIPPING with orders of over $49....
When you think about it, a box of Pampers are about $40 and you almost always need a onesie or a PJ set(which they have at competitive prices too).
Next thing you know...
POOF.... 
You have diapers and whatever else at your door in a couple of days and NO running around a store with kids and (impossible to accommodate on a stroller) diaper boxes!

3rd place goes to
THE HAPPIEST BABY ON THE BLOCK by Harvey Karp
This book is amazing!  It really does work!  I have read many parenting books but this is by far the best and most effective.  Not to mention its an easy read and its not 500 pages.  :)

First timers at being sick. :(

One of the the last posts was about how happy the babies were at daycare.
Well, here's the update:
A day after those pictures were taken, my children who have NEVER been sick, started getting sick. Now I'm not talking about a little cold, I'm talking about full blown ear infections with antibiotics and fever spikes!
Look at these little faces....

Lessons learned from this experience so far:

1- If you feel "iffy" about your child's caregiver, change them!
There was something about our pediatrician that I didn't like but I let it go because my husband thought she was good... I should've trusted my instincts. Which leads me to #2.
2- Trust your gut!!!
Had I trusted in what this pediatrician said, I would've let my son continue going through pain because "it should work itself out". Ofcourse, I did not trust this knucklehead and took them both to the baby ER.
3- There's nothing worse than seeing your little angels sick and not being able to take it away.
4- If you have to, you CAN function on 2 hours of sleep a night and still go to work the next day. 
You will do whatever it takes to make those babies comfortable and try to meet your obligations as a working parent.  It's not easy, but it's doable.
5- When it rains it pours!!!
Not only have the children been very sick, but my husband and I both got sick too....
6- It's OK to walk around the house with your shirt full of spit and snot and smelling of vomit and sweat.
It's your kids stuff.... it is what it is!  You either do that or have a wardrobe change every 15 minutes. No time for that "Divaness" when your dealing with two sick munchkins.
7- And lastly,  just praying to stay home with my babies has not worked and someone else ALWAYS wins the damn lottery!!!  :/

To say this week has been tough would be a SEVERE understatement!
My emotions have not been this screwed up, well,  ever!
After a while of discussions, my husband and I decided it would be best for us and our babies to put them in daycare. Maddie is two and a half now and she really needs some social interaction with kids her own age and it couldn't hurt for Papo to play with babies that won't steal his toys(well at least not as much as Maddie does).
This has, of course, taken my separation anxiety to a whole new level.
Not only am in away from the kids 10 hours a day five days a week but now they're taken to a place they don't recognize with people they don't know.
In my mind, I totally saw this going badly on the first day. I thought that Maddie would, FOR SURE, throw a fit and cry for hours. I wasn't too worried about Papo because he's only one and doesn't really know the difference.

We did take them for a little while on Tuesday, Papo's birthday. That must've helped a lot because neither one of them cried or anything. There was no tantrum or tears, nothin'.

See??!!  Look at these two!  My heart is breaking and they're just fine...

And although they were great about it, the guilt and sadness I felt was just overwhelming. I just kept telling myself, through the sobbing, that this is great for them.
It didn't help.
I was still insanely guilty. (where's that little confused emoticon when you need him???!!!)
We have since completed day 2 of daycare. Papo smiles and throws himself at me when he sees me come in for pick up and the only sad thing has been that Maddie gets emotional when it's pick up time and she sees me. She looks up at me with those beautiful big watery eyes and says "I wanna go home" while holding back her tears. My poor baby.
After our teary display, I load them both up and off we go.
We get home each day and we get right back into our routine...
Bath time at 6, meal time at 7, play time with Papo for a half hour, lay in bed and watch Dora for a half hour and nite nite time at 8. Papo's very easy going.... he just goes in his crib and falls asleep right away. Then, Maddie and I do "amen" and she requests her nighttime "bot bot". Once she was done with the bot bot I hug her a little bit and tell her I love her.
Tonight was a little different. She cupped my face in her hands and she actually said "I love you, mommy".
I melted.

Daycare Dilemma

The babies start daycare tomorrow.
This is very stressful and unnerving for me. At the risk of sounding like a over protective, crazy kind of mommy, I will say that I am freaked out and saddened.
I don't really know how to explain this feeling and I would fail miserably if I even attempt to, so I won't.
Now, I need to point out that my kids are fine with this(for the most part). We did a test run today and my son was his usual charming little self. He was flirting with every female teacher he came across. And of course, he's so cute that they all just wanted to hold him. He was in his little one year old glory!
My daughter on the other hand isn't so easy going. She did cry and she was very serious at first but she warmed up after she saw the playground. That was the selling point! We should've looked at the playground first and everything would've been great right from the start.
Keep in mind that this was all done with Papo right there with us. We were going to let him stay in his class so he could get himself even more acclimated (and flirt a little more too) but Maddie would have none of that! She screamed for Papo when she saw we were walking out and Papo was left with one of the teachers. She is so protective of her baby brother!
Wonder where she gets that from?
After our tour it was time to say goodbye to all the nice teachers and babies we met. And to my surprise, Maddie was giving one of the teachers a little smile while she hid behind her daddy.
Tomorrow will definitely be a rough one for all of us but it's what's best for them. Funny how I never gave daycares a second thought until last week. I never realized that there is so much emotion involved in leaving your kids at a daycare/school. If I could, I would keep them with me all the time! We'd watch Blues Clues, Brainy Baby and Mary Poppins until I couldn't hear another "find the last paw print and put it in our notebook...". We'd color and play chase and do all those fun things I like to do with my babies.
But with a heavy heart, I just can't. And so I end the blog the way it began, with the only thing on my mind right now:
The babies start daycare tomorrow.

Mommy Moments

Been going through some "mommy" moments these days... some happy, some not...

Mommy Moment #1: Separation Anxiety

"It goes away once you get back into the work routine" someone said. I wish I could remember who that "someone" was that told me that LIE so I could smack'em.  The emotional pain does not go away(atleast not for me).   It was extreme when I went back to work after my daughter was born and I ended up dealing with it but my heart ached everyday I was away from her.  I was getting good at dealing with it until now.  For the past few weeks I've been getting that feeling of "I HAVE to be with the babies".  Not good. Especially since I have no choice.  I have to work to help support our family.

Mommy Moment #2: PRIDE

Not quite sharing it with him but atleast she's nearby, holding the balloon :/

My Madison sings the entire alphabet, sounds out letters, knows her numbers from one to ten in English and Spanish and knows her colors in English and Spanish! She's awesome!!!  She's a little Diva and I love her sooo much!  Now,  my little Papo is already crawling like a little speed demon and standing.  He inches his way along while holding on to something.  He's my little bull. He's extra affectionate, very strong and just sooo cute!  Its really fulfilling to see how Papo and Maddie light up when they see each other. Today, while Maddie and I went out for some balloon shopping she even said "I share balloon with Papo".  Such a proud moment to hear my baby girl say the word "share".  Now that clearly does not mean that she will actually DO IT.  Baby steps people... 

Mommy Moment #3: Guilt

This is another one that I got pretty good at dealing with but has come back full force!  The guilt is two-fold. I feel guilty when I spend time with one child and not the other and I feel guilty when other people are watching my kids.  Basically, one child wants all my attention and I have to divide it up between the two of them.  Seeing their little disappointed faces are like knives going right through my heart.  And then, to top it off, I'm gone 5 days a week(sometimes 6) for about 10 hours a day when you add work and travel time.  All that equals less time for me with my babies and more time for someone else to care for them.

Mommy Moment #4: In Love

I'm just soo in love with these kids and my husband.  "You never know how much your mother loves you until you have your own children". Can't remember who said this one either BUT it is very true! And it is so nice to have my husband with me the whole way.  Parenting is very challenging at times and always fantastically rewarding.  With all the emotional ups and downs, having these children and making this family with my husband has fulfilled my life and made it complete.
Cheesy, I know, but still.. it's true...  :)

Parental Paranoia

Has any other mom gotten uncharacteristically paranoid after having children?
I was never as cautious as I am now. I never worried as much as I do now. And I never realized how important health is until now.
Safe and healthy, safe and healthy... These words repeat constantly in my head. Keep my babies safe and healthy. Keep my husband and myself safe and healthy so we can raise these kids until they can at least defend themselves in this crazy world.
Talk about pressure! This is definitely one of my "Top Ten Things Noone Told Me About Parenting".
Flying = Mental Torture
Playgrounds = falling hazards everywhere! (the tall slide commands most of my attention)
Walking down the hill = Chill down my spine...(what if they don't hold the stroller tight enough and it gets away from them??)
Driving = Eyes in the back of my head, side of my head, all over.
***don't roll your eyes!!! People DO NOT know how to drive and you know it!***
OK, I think we get it. I'm terrified for my children. I wonder how I'll react when they want to go out without me or daddy. That's going to be some conversation(fight).
I know I'll have to eventually get over it but as of right now, I just don't see that happening... My poor kids.
Of course my husband taunts me saying crazy things like, "what are you gonna do when Maddie says she wants to go to spring break to Miami?". I say, "great, that's mommy's home town and I'm coming too!!!"

Visiting a friend

We went up to CT to visit a friend of mine.  It was supposed to be a nice day out for a visit and then off to a really pretty pumpkin patch for some nice fall pictures with the babies... But as you will see,, things never go as planned...

The visit was very nice and the kids had a great time.

(see smiling babies and happy parents)

And then as time went on things went

down

down

down.....

Papo was getting tired and the crank started. With no crib available, it got bad. You see, my baby likes to be put in a crib when it's nap time. When there is no crib, there is no nap and so begins the overtired baby dance (see very unhappy baby below and picture tired parents who have been carrying him and basically, wrestling with him since he likes to roll around all over the place while in your arms when he's tired).

Yeah, I know you mommy's and daddy's out here know exactly what I'm talking about.
By the way, my wonderful baby boy weighs 23lbs, so this was quite the workout!
Note to mommy, buy a portable play yard!!!
After about 2 hours of play and then over tiredness, Madison says, "I want go home". She was right, it was time to go.
And so we said goodbye to our nice friends and away we went.
There was no pumpkin patch or pretty fall pictures(so sad for me).  There was only the nice ride home on the Merritt Parkway and two babies knocked out in the car. Even Madison went down and she hasn't napped in over 2 weeks. Now I know some of you may be thinking, "DUH, just take the car seat into the house and let him nap in there". Doesn't work. He twists and turns and basically, that car seat needs to be firmly attached to it's base in the car where it belongs.
And now, on to our next family trip. Nana's for a nice meal. Mmmmm. I'll think about losing my last 25lbs of baby weight tomorrow. Going to nana's for food is right up there with thanksgiving dinner.
Eat today and worry about it later.

The Sweet Taste of Revenge

Today I came home to hear that my son, Matthew, who we like to call Papo, had his first taste of revenge. My little angel Madison(his sister) has been tormenting my poor baby boy for months now...  Actually she's been doing this since she finally acknowledged he exists.  She's pushed him, kicked him, smacked him, well, you get the idea.
And today, in a moment of triumph, he bit her heel with all four of his little chompers!!!

I know, I know, I shouldn't laugh.   Revenge is not good and biting is not good,       blah blah blah...
But it is funny to see the shoe is starting to get on the other little foot now.  Besides, it didn't really hurt her.   My mother in law said that she got up and said, "Papo bit my heel!!!" with a look of sheer surprise on her pretty little face.  I could just picture it which is why I giggle every time I do. Hee hee hee
Now don't get me wrong, Madison is a good baby. She just likes to smack her brother once in a while to show him who's the senior baby.  However, when she knows she's being watched, she says "Do nice Papo" as she pets his head gently.
As you can see, she does have shark-like tendencies.  One of her more pronounced techniques is the "circle till I get it" technique.  She has honed this skill almost from birth and is quite good at it.  She circles you over and over and waits for the perfect moment to snatch whatever it is you have that she wants!  She's soo slick that at only 29 months, she can take said item and you wouldn't even notice!!
That's my baby girl!

There's something to be said for persistence and slyness.

Wearing Papo's hat

Bond between brothers and sisters

Madison and Papo have become much better play buddies in the past week. Madison went from trying to kick Papo to giving him hugs and kisses and saying "I love you, Papo" just last night.
I couldn't believe my ears!
Was my little girl actually being nice to her baby brother without someone egging her on to do so?
What a proud mama moment!
When Papo was born, Madison was 17 months old and simply could not be bothered with Papo (imagine her pretty little nose high in the air acting like the princess she is). She just pretended he did not exist. As far as she was concerned, there was no one in the bassinet. This went on for months.
The next phase of having a baby brother was the "Ok, I get it. You're here and you're not
leaving, so I'll do my best to make you wish you could crawl outta here" phase. My poor Papo
was on the receiving end of however many smacks and hair pulls. I'm sure we didn't catch all
of them. He's a tough baby and Madison doesn't really hit him hard. It's more to prove a point for her.
Then came moments of love and playfulness mixed with smacks and hair pulls. She loved him just enough to make him love her too and then she would bring the smack down!
Yes, I know, she is something else!
Papo is now 11 months old and has survived it all and I believe he has loved his big sister
since birth. I also believe he's patiently waiting to strike back.
Nevertheless, it is so sweet to see how they love each other. And I am totally enjoying every minute of it!

This past Sunday my family and I went to the pumpkin patch, well, the apple patch since the pumpkin patch at this place was "not available".  All in all, the apple patch ended up being a very nice trip for everyone.  My baby diva, Madison picked some apples and posed for some very nice shots while my "little bull"(as Madison likes to say) hung out in the stroller watching all the goings on.
As I reviewed the pictures taken at the patch I came across one of my husband and the babies and thought, what a wonderful life!  My heart feels full.  It doesn't matter what happens, what annoying bills need to be paid or what aggravation I have to deal with at work(and believe me, there are MANY). My family is my true joy and I know so many other mothers out there feel the same way.

Till the next time....