To say this week has been tough would be a SEVERE understatement!
My emotions have not been this screwed up, well,  ever!
After a while of discussions, my husband and I decided it would be best for us and our babies to put them in daycare. Maddie is two and a half now and she really needs some social interaction with kids her own age and it couldn't hurt for Papo to play with babies that won't steal his toys(well at least not as much as Maddie does).
This has, of course, taken my separation anxiety to a whole new level.
Not only am in away from the kids 10 hours a day five days a week but now they're taken to a place they don't recognize with people they don't know.
In my mind, I totally saw this going badly on the first day. I thought that Maddie would, FOR SURE, throw a fit and cry for hours. I wasn't too worried about Papo because he's only one and doesn't really know the difference.

We did take them for a little while on Tuesday, Papo's birthday. That must've helped a lot because neither one of them cried or anything. There was no tantrum or tears, nothin'.

See??!!  Look at these two!  My heart is breaking and they're just fine...

And although they were great about it, the guilt and sadness I felt was just overwhelming. I just kept telling myself, through the sobbing, that this is great for them.
It didn't help.
I was still insanely guilty. (where's that little confused emoticon when you need him???!!!)
We have since completed day 2 of daycare. Papo smiles and throws himself at me when he sees me come in for pick up and the only sad thing has been that Maddie gets emotional when it's pick up time and she sees me. She looks up at me with those beautiful big watery eyes and says "I wanna go home" while holding back her tears. My poor baby.
After our teary display, I load them both up and off we go.
We get home each day and we get right back into our routine...
Bath time at 6, meal time at 7, play time with Papo for a half hour, lay in bed and watch Dora for a half hour and nite nite time at 8. Papo's very easy going.... he just goes in his crib and falls asleep right away. Then, Maddie and I do "amen" and she requests her nighttime "bot bot". Once she was done with the bot bot I hug her a little bit and tell her I love her.
Tonight was a little different. She cupped my face in her hands and she actually said "I love you, mommy".
I melted.